"Most of my struggles in the Christian life circle around the same two themes: why God doesn't act the way we want God to, and why I don't act the way God wants me to. Prayer is the precise point where those themes converge." Yancey continues, "Deep down I believed that contact with God should be fulfilling and even transforming, yet I rarely found it so. I assumed I must be doing something wrong."
Deep sigh...how to begin again writing about this subject of prayer. This question nails it pretty well for me although I tend to spend more time on the second half: Why I don't act the way God wants me to. In the work of Christ on the cross including his resurrection, which I believe despite my doubts, I am told that my "old man" has died and my "new man" is alive; that I have been transformed, changed, remade, born again. Many who challenge the Christian faith snicker at that last one, born again, at least in part because of the trivial way it has been used by some who profess it. Some who have professed it the loudest have ended up making a mockery of themselves and the faith, but nevertheless, that's what is supposed to happen.
So when I don't feel transformed, changed, remade or born again, I assume it's me, not God. And since God does not change, I'm the one who needs adjusting. But how? In the book Birthright by David Needham, he challenges the reader to look at infinity. As we've all done at one time or another, venture out on a moonless, clear night and stare deeply into the cosmos, not just to pick out the Big Dipper but to begin to imagine the breadth, depth, height and heart of God Almighty. Stay in that moment until you know you simply cannot comprehend it all, or in all honesty, even a little. In our ultimate smallness and finiteness, we see His enormity and endlessness, and for the briefest of moments, as more questions and doubts flood our consciousness, we get it. He did this. He IS this. And as small as I am, He cares for me.
(View this in full-screen with as much amplitude possible)
Opening Scene from the movie Contact
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