Tuesday, March 6, 2012

When Words Fail

Yancey writes, "My prayers falter, of course. Sometimes I feel at a loss, and must turn to Psalms or a book of prayers written by others, simply asking God to make them my prayers, because I have no words of my own. Jesus himself prayed the words of psalms in times of stress."

Question: What fits for you, when you are longing to reach God but find yourself at a loss for words?

I find it somewhat ironic (and ironic may not be the most exact word to use here but whatever) that someone who writes words for a living, and is pretty darned good at it, would at times be at a loss for words, just like me, when it comes to prayer. I guess there is reassurance in that. But the question also has a built-in condition, that I am "longing to reach God" in those instances where words just don't flow. I have friends whom I respect that would meet such a situation by "speaking in tongues" but at least up until now, God has not gifted me in that way. Do I "long to reach God?" Not nearly enough.

The suggestion to go to a book of prayers written by others takes me back to my childhood church experience where as a good Episcopalian, I recited verbatim many passages from the prayer book, and it's from there that phrases like "the peace of God which passeth all understanding" still leap from my brain when reading Philippians 4:7 regardless of the version I am reading. Growing up as an Episcopalian, there were only two kinds of prayer, at least for me--the ones said kneeling beside the bed at night and the ones read aloud during church services, mostly by the priest. So the prayer book to me never became personal and even today I would be unlikely to go there. I actually tried recently, at the suggestion of a friend, but it just reminded me of being an Episcopalian.

Unfortunately, sinning makes me pray. Call it what you will--screwing up, being selfish, greedy, lustful (I could make a very long list here.) When I sin and I know it, I feel bad and then I usually pray. Of course it's a selfish prayer because it's all about me. But at least it's a start.  

Father God, help me to pray, to long for you, to finds words fitting your glory, to know you more.

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